15 April, 2012

Amen On Monday

I feel the need to share about the past Monday. I was wanting to share this information with my pastor because he kind of inspired my actions but I was not yet able to. Though I hope to eventually share this day with him.
Monday I did not have school. The weekend before was a hard one, where it seeemed that the weight of the world was on my shoulders and everything I said or did was being judged very harshly.
My mother had taken off work so I was able to take the car. I had made up my mind late Saturday night I would go out and be alone to spend time with God to figure out what I was supposed to do next. My sister had missed the bus so I took her to school. It wasn't until maybe 1 when I was actually able to be alone.
I got in the car. I had my purse, phone on silent, and the bible with me. I turned on the Christian radio station and while I was driving to my first destination, which was the baseball fields, I listened to the words of the song and almost immediately started crying.

"I won't give you more
More than you can take
And I might let you bend
But I won't let you break
And know, I'll never, ever let you go"
Don't you forget what He said
Don't you forget what He said, He said
~He Said ft Chris August-Group 1 Crew

Those are the words I heard and I turned the music up louder and drove slower. I was trying to hold back the tears so I could still see to drive. I got to the baseball fields and turned to music up louder and parked the car. I opened the windows a little to let the breeze hit me lightly. I opened up the bible and started reading. I opened up and read several things. One of the quotes I shared on facebook was this:

"I will give thanks to the Lord
because of his righteousness
and will sing praise to the name
of the Lord Most High." Psalms 7:17

That is just a small portion of what I read. I read even more in Psalms. Then I left to the park. I parked and walked over to the pond. Next to the pond is a tree stump that I sit on. This stump is kind of a place of peace and good memories for me. So I sat there and I started to pray out loud to God. I watched the ducks. There were some people there but not many. I kind of hoped they could not hear me and think I was crazy. I prayed first for my family: Delani, Devin, Desirae, Momma, and Daddy. Then I prayed for my best friends: Samvee, Keran, Tiffany, and Marissa. Then I took liberty to pray for these two guys I know and even one more person that I have not talked to in almost two years. I was crying. Except I think they were more hopeful tears.
I don't think I cried true sad tears. They were happy tears. They were hopeful tears. I held a lot of faith and admiration for God that day. It was so nice outside that day and I knew I was blessed to have the family and friends I did. I remain inspired by that day even a week after.
I say Amen to that.

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