questioning your own words

i though i buried you!

and i seem to be talking in riddles,

On the edge,

Hanging on to the salt in the tears i want to cry.

i hold back,

Only scared.

trying to be true to the person i will become,

But i slip back to old ways.

its like i’m digging up graves that should have a steel coffin

That is a lovely poem I originally wrote in a text message to one of my friends. I liked it and edited it. I was introduced to all the possibilities of creative writing in poetry and thought I might try something different. So what I did was this: I didn't capitalize the i's. I didn't even capitalize after a period, instead I capitalized after commas. This is very different from what i normally do. I usually try to sound pretty formal, with correct grammar, but I think I made something powerful by not doing this.

Going back and looking at my work maybe there is another reason for why I wrote the way I did. Originally it was from a text so I really didn't use any capitalization, but I did use punctuation. This fact, I think, makes it real and maybe more interesting to read in modern days. I think I don't capitalize the i's because this poem is basically about growing up and trying to teach yourself a lesson. So being a "baby" i could mean you are still growing into the
"big" I.

I think on of the most powerful lines might be "i hold back," this is lowercase, but the line after starts with capital "Only scared," It even ends in a period. That I think makes the line powerful. You have the word "scared" which should show maybe a bit of weakness, but because "Only" is capitalized it makes scared seem strong, especially with the period on the end.

Note: I don't end in a period. I don't end with a comma. I don't end with anything but the word "coffin" It somewhat bothers me, but maybe that's the whole point I'm trying to make with this poem. I'm not sure if it a good thing, as a writer, to analyze and be confused with your own writing and question it.