Untitled: It's Unhealthy

I have been wanting to write now for sometime but I don't know what to write about. I have been really deeply thinking about some things but I wouldn't really want to share these feelings. I suppose I should. The things I may go through I'm sure aren't much different from what other people go through. It's just life I'm feeling right now. Life and change.

The mind likes to draw comparisons. I suppose it’s natural? I don't know, but it happens. I, for one, hate it. Because whenever I think of the future and try to move forward I keep thinking of the past. I don't want to think of the past, but it seems the more I try to not think about it, the more I think about it. I start to thinking and then I start to draw the comparisons. It's not right, it's not healthy...but it's natural? This world is so messed up on so many levels.

Winter brings about warm feelings. Attitudes change and so do people in general. What would we do without holidays like Christmas and New Year's that give us support to look back on the past year and life as a whole? What could be better than to end the year with family and friends? What could be better than to end the year with the selflessness of giving to others?
Aside from those warm feelings though, I since kind of sink into a depression. I'm a person who truly loves summer. I get sick of winter. I love Christmas and New Year's and everything that these holidays are about but after these holidays are over I just want the sun to come out and melt the snow away. I want the birds to start singing and the leaves to grow back on the trees. I want the flowers to blossom and I want to walk down the street in a swimsuit. Summer it my favorite season. All I want to do is party and be with people. I love to be able to walk outside. I love how the sun makes my tan skin glow. I love when the freckles on my face are not covered by makeup because I have no need to wear it because I know it would come off in the pool.

In winter, I have nothing to do but sit inside. I start to worry about petty things. Because it is cold outside I can't just go outside and take a nice walk. I could take a walk, but it wouldn't be so nice. I would hate being in the cold weather and come back home feeling worse than when I left. In the winter, the sun can make me smile when looking at the window, but when I go outside I am forced to face the fact that the sun won't be making the plants grow tall anytime soon. So, I sit inside and listen to music that will depress me, either with the thoughts of hopeless love, or the thoughts of partying in summer time.