Christmas in Style of 2010

You should have seen the gifts this year. So few, but so grand. Though when I list it all it's actually a lot. I'm sure it all cost a pretty penny. Greatful for it all.
So here is the list of things I have received for the holidays.
On the 12th I got a mug with hot chocolate and a candy cane from my dance teachers.
On the 20th I got Gingerbread cookies, fudge and caramel hershey kisses from Samantha. Along with a spider-man shirt, a box of mini twix, sugar cookie and some candy from Keran.
On the 21st I got sparkly heels from Forever21 from Kristina. As well as Christmas socks and cute tweezers. 
On Christmas day I got a turquoise colored St. John's Bay purse, Sally Hansen nail hardner, Pure Ice nail polish in Rosebud, Excuse Me, and Calypso, Sally Girl nail polish in Turqouise, Fuschia, and Blue & Purple Sparkles, Sally Hansen base coat and top coat, a 3-Way Buffer, star earrings from Avon, a Mega Hot Hair Dryer and Straightener, White Mountain black boots, White Rivet leather jacket, Covington black blouse, Laura Scott button up top, Paper Tee Top, Almost Famous top, U.S. Polo Assn. turtleneck, Rue21 crop top, Rue21 top, Bongo flirty bootcut and modern flare jeans, U.S. Polo Assn. bootcut jeans, and Almost Famous bootcut jeans.
On the 26, 27, and 28th I got $20 from my great-grandma, $100 from my grandpa, and $30 plus a picture to color in from my grandma and grandpa.
On the 31 I got a really soft and warm blanket from Tiffany

K.E.D.S.

Breathe in Carolina

Suck in the air

Let it bring energy

Dance with your eyes wide

Scream at the top of your lungs

Read the lyrics

Rip up the pages

Feel the deep sadness

Smile as you drift off

Your heart is an earthquake

It’s magical

This is the future

You see the past

Painted colors on you face

Smiles are forced into place

Deeply high pitched

Rooted to the soul

Their voices shake

Glass seems to hit the floor

Nothing's There

Dot

Dot

Dot

But there is no dot

Not even a comma

Girls Know Boys Don't

It's funny to think that the world no has been around longer than we can even imagine, yet majority of people just don't get the meaning of it. Mainly boys. They don't want to hear a girl say no. For some reason, they must think it's degrading for a girl to say no to them. They take the word no way to personally. They get mad and frustrated. Arguments start, but really they have no reason to get mad, they didn't even wait to hear why she said no. Girls don't like to hear no sometimes either but more girls can handle it better than most boys can. Girls can take it personally as well but we are more prone to listen to why they are saying know. Girls just want to understand why they won't get their way. Guys don't care what a girl's reason is, they just want what they want and if they don't get it it seems like the whole world is falling apart. Dear goodness, someone needs to call their mother.

Without me, your Nothing.

Without me
Darkness Would
Stretch Sea
To Sea,
Because I
Am your
Light.

Without me
Love Songs
Would Have
No Meaning,
Because I
Am your
Meaning.

Without me
The Orange
Sun Could
Not Set,
Because I
Am your
Horizon.

Without me
You'd Never
Be Able
To Sleep,
Because I
Am your
Pillow.

Without me
It's Impossible
For You
To Dream,
Because I
Am your
Dream.

Without me
Wishing Wells
Would Lose
All Existence,
Because I
Am your
Wish.

Without me
That Hit
Won't Feel
The Same,
Because I
Am your
High.

Without me
Starting Anything
Would Be
Totally Pointless,
Because I
Am your
Finish.

Without me
Lip Motions
Are Seemingly
In Vain,
Because I
Am your
Words.

Without me
Fingers And
Hands Are
Feeling Numb,
Because I
Am your
Touch.

Without me
The World
Is Black
To Eyes,
Because I
Am your
Sight.

Without me
Distance Will
Never Be
Traveled Afar,
Because I
Am your
Feet.

Without me
Lungs Mould
Be Saying
They're Starving,
Because I
Am your
Air.

Without me
No Blood
Pumps Through
Your Vains,
Because I
Am your
Heart.

Without me
Never Possiblity
Of Angel
Or Demon,
Because I
Am your
Soul.

Without me
Words You
Write Down
Are Gone,
Because I
Am your
Paper.

Without me
All Pictures
Would All
Fly Away,
Because I
Am your
Past.

Without me
In Front
Of You
Is Nothing,
Because I
Am your
Future.

Without me
Your Grave
Holds Your
Dark Casket,
Because I
Am your
Reason.

I'm Stripping You Of Your Dreams

When your eyes are closed on the bed,
That is when I'm quietly filled with laughter,
I feel lightheaded and my chest hurts.
Look at you with your clothes on.
Bet you never thought I would be the one awake.
You didn't think I'd be the one watching you sleep.
Don't stir little baby,
I will sing you a lullaby if you wake.
Listen to you as you snore.
I whisper in your ear,
"What is in your dreams?"
Through your snoring I can hear your confessions,
You dream of the naked.
"Repeat the last part please."
Blonde hair and blue eyes,
Is that me you are describing?
The bells in my lungs ring out again.
It seems I have woken you up,
But soon you will be in my arms again,
Fast, fast asleep dreaming.
How easy it is to comfort you,
Whether you are in reality or fantasy.

When Something Is Lost, Something Is Learned

They'd say her heart is heavy, but she has no heart. She lost it a long time ago. They tried to find it, her family and her friends, but it was all in vain. It was gone forever. It was probably caught in a fire or ran over several times. It'd be no use to her now even if they did find it. She grew up. She grew strong with out a heart. Her brain grew along with her body. Where her heart should be she grew another brain. This brain made her knowledge able to expand along the world. She was blessed it seemed. She gained wisdom that was far great than most other people. She inspired not only herself but other people as well. Boys looked at her and thought she was an angel. Though when they confessed this to her, she simply looked over her shoulder and laughed, for there were no wings on her back. She patted her own head, there was no halo either. Besides she had no soul anyway, she could be neither a demon or an angel even if she wanted to be. Some wished they could love her but she didn't know feelings. She just knew thoughts and facts. She over analyzed. She knew mankind couldn't be trusted, yet she gave the benefit of doubt. Deceiving people drew her near. She tried and tried but she knows better to fall into something. She always kept one foot in and the other out so if she needed to she could step back and see what was really going on. To no avail, her mind had to be right. She was acting stupidly. She learned her lesson. Some men had learned she had no heart, and thought they'd take advantage, but that was not so. She learned and she put an end to it all. She will never trust again. Though, her chest feels like it has been ripped open with some one's bare hands. Was someone trying to find her heart? Did they think she still had one? Fools. Now her mind hurts, her body aches, and she has confused many by speaking in riddles. But maybe all is well, because she will be able to say "it's not you, it's me" in the most truthful way anyone will ever be able to say it.

2 Letters 2 Strong 4 The World

N-O
Obviously no one understands it. It's too short. The mind just can't seem to wrap it's mind around it. Yet, somehow we circle around the letter I. Too grand are we to think that someone might not agree. Someone can be so fixated to hear yes that we keep asking until we hear it. Forget if the other person is uncomfortable and feeling pressured. You'll never get a yes, though. People nowadays are way more focused on what they want for themselves. They are so focused on being stubborn. They'll stick to their answer, and when you finally get annoying they'll snap at you. Isn't it great?
N-O

You Kiss Me And You Kill Me

Dear One Love
I can't kiss you
If you kiss me
You kill me
As our lips touch
My last breath
slips away to you
Don't let me die
Just let me fall
In love with you
Catch me please
Craddle my fall
Hold me tight
Don't let go
Hug me forever
Send me letters
Sign them all xoxo
Sincerely True Love

The Horns In Your Side

Thanks for making me the center of your world. You’re only young once but you have proven you can be immature the rest of your life. I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to use you just to have someone by my side. I’m not a tease just a reminder of what you can't have. Remember if you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. Now really I'm an angel, the horns just hold up the halo, and my opinions may have changed but I’m still right.

I enjoy finding things that inspire me to write. I inspire myself, even.
Don't you enjoy those people who have seemed to make talking about you their life career? They don't do anything else but talk about you behind your back? It is really sad. There is actually a lot of people like this and I'm not sure why. What is so fascinating about talking badly about someone. Now if you want to say nice things about someone, by all means, go ahead! If someone is doing well, why wouldn't you want the great news to spread, I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
It is true, you are only young once. The world keeps spinning, and there is no pause or hesitation. Be sides that fact, there are people who don't know how to grow up. They don't know how to grow up because they are so set in there ways. They are stubborn and won't bend even a little for anything. It's immature and immaturity can last for a life time.
There are those people in your life, I'm sure, that you know is no good for you. So you let them go because not only is it unfair for you but it's unfair for them as well. You can't keep something just because you don't want to be alone. You need that pause, you need that time alone so you can breathe and think. You may not want to lose them but it is and always will be for the best.
Being a tease is fun. You can have all the fun you want and never face the consequences, because you made them want something but you never gave it to them. But in all honesty you aren't a tease in the end, because every time they'll look at you they'll think about what they never had. They'll be dreaming about it that night when they're alone at night. HA!
When you're mad or upset, smile. It makes the world even a little brighter for a moment. I do it. It works for me. I don't like to be upset, so when I'm about to cry, even though it's hard to force that smile, it does make me feel better and the tears don't make it pass the rims of my eyes. So smile. And remember if you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. Isn't that so true?
Everyone has a good side and a bad side. So it's true when they say there is no such thing as a good girl gone bad, just bad girls found out. But I like to think of myself as a good girl so it's only natural the horns hold up my halo.
I love when people tell me they're right and I'm wrong because I changed my mind. Just because I originally didn't agree with you doesn't mean I was wrong to begin with. I'm sure I'm still more right than you will ever be. You may have come to a conclusion about something, and I may have the say bottom line conclusion, but I can assure you that I have a more elaborate conclusion built on top of that. Which is why I am right and you are, in fact, wrong.

Untitled: It's Not Right

I have been wanting to write now for sometime but I don't know what to write about. I have been really deeply thinking about some things but I wouldn't really want to share these feelings. I suppose I should. The things I may go through I'm sure aren't much different from what other people go through. It's just life I'm feeling right now. Life and change.
The mind likes to draw comparisons. I suppose its natural? I don't know, but it happens. I, for one, hate it. Because whenever I think of the future and try to move forward I keep thinking of the past. I don't want to think of the past, but it seems the more I try to not think about it, the more I think about it. I start to thinking and then I start to draw the comparisons. It's not right, it's not healthy...but it's natural? This world is so messed up on so many levels.
Things change and there is no doubt about that. Whether it is for the best or for the worst, we always wish things didn't change. Because whether it was all good or if it was all bad, there will always be something we miss about the past.

Like in a relationship. You talk for maybe a few months, then you really start to fall for the person, then you start dating and become a couple. You become so close, practically inseparable. But after awhile things change, only slightly, you start to fight and you just don't feel like being in that situation. You don’t want the stress, because you believe you can be better independent. You say you’re done and you shut the door. For some reason you feel on top of the world. They seem happy. You are happy too; you seem to be more focused on you and what you need to be doing. Weeks, months, even years go by. You have been with a few people, they weren't bad. There was nothing wrong with them. They told you, you were amazing, some claimed you were sent from heaven. They talked to you like they could have given the world to be with you, but something held you back. You laughed in their face. You think you are good on your own. You believed they are lame and nothing like what you really want. How could a they even say those things unless it was a joke? You wonder. But because there are so many people saying this you chase after the ones that is a bit harder to understand because you like a challenge, you don't want to be bored. You don't want it to be easy. But they don't text you every day; they don't like to talk on the phone. They may not even talk to others of the opposite sex, but that doesn't mean they have time for you. You wonder why you are there alone. You don't know what you want anymore. You try to imagine yourself with the person you are talking to now, but you can't. You can't even imagine yourself with your past three exs. You start to think about that one person. That one person who became such a huge part of your life. You start to draw the comparisons;

New: don’t want to talk. Old: talked every day. New: wouldn’t leave the house if you were more than ten minutes away. Old: would walk the earth to get to where you are. New: would rather chill with their friends. Old: would make sure it was possible to hang out with you and their friends in the same day. And most importantly the New doesn't make you feel like you can be yourself, you always feel like you have to put on a front and be the best to impress them and keep their attention. With the Old you already had their full attention so you could be yourself completely and you just felt so comfortable. It makes you feel so sad. It almost rips your heart out at the very thought of something that should have been perfect could end up so torn. Then you remember that it was you that threw it all out the window, he didn't tell you he was done. You ended the fight telling him to never talk to you again, you told him he was a waste of your time, but he ended the fight saying he'd still be there if you came back, that you could still be friends. You didn't want to hear it then; you still don't want to hear it now. Still, you believe things are better now than they would have been if you guys had kept in touch. You wouldn't be together. You wouldn't have that deep connection. And whether you were still friends or not anymore, you'd still draw these comparisons. You don't want that to happen again, so you decide you want something different, but you don't know what is more different: an abusive relationship, or a relationship where you truly complete each other.

Or you could see how a simple relationship with people you know can change. As life goes on you are forced to meet new people. Which is not bad, I love new people. I like to know the world. So you’re put in an environment where there are people who are interested in the same things and want the same things in life. But that is not the only thing you have in common. You actually can read each other’s minds and finish each other’s sentences. You start to wonder how it can be that you’ve only known this person for a short time yet some people you have known for years just seem to not get you at all. You feel kind of surprised and feel like you been living a lie. Why would you surround yourself with people that don't get you; whether you are overly sensitive, highly confusing, or utterly disturbing.

Untitled: It's Unhealthy

I have been wanting to write now for sometime but I don't know what to write about. I have been really deeply thinking about some things but I wouldn't really want to share these feelings. I suppose I should. The things I may go through I'm sure aren't much different from what other people go through. It's just life I'm feeling right now. Life and change.

The mind likes to draw comparisons. I suppose it’s natural? I don't know, but it happens. I, for one, hate it. Because whenever I think of the future and try to move forward I keep thinking of the past. I don't want to think of the past, but it seems the more I try to not think about it, the more I think about it. I start to thinking and then I start to draw the comparisons. It's not right, it's not healthy...but it's natural? This world is so messed up on so many levels.

Winter brings about warm feelings. Attitudes change and so do people in general. What would we do without holidays like Christmas and New Year's that give us support to look back on the past year and life as a whole? What could be better than to end the year with family and friends? What could be better than to end the year with the selflessness of giving to others?
Aside from those warm feelings though, I since kind of sink into a depression. I'm a person who truly loves summer. I get sick of winter. I love Christmas and New Year's and everything that these holidays are about but after these holidays are over I just want the sun to come out and melt the snow away. I want the birds to start singing and the leaves to grow back on the trees. I want the flowers to blossom and I want to walk down the street in a swimsuit. Summer it my favorite season. All I want to do is party and be with people. I love to be able to walk outside. I love how the sun makes my tan skin glow. I love when the freckles on my face are not covered by makeup because I have no need to wear it because I know it would come off in the pool.

In winter, I have nothing to do but sit inside. I start to worry about petty things. Because it is cold outside I can't just go outside and take a nice walk. I could take a walk, but it wouldn't be so nice. I would hate being in the cold weather and come back home feeling worse than when I left. In the winter, the sun can make me smile when looking at the window, but when I go outside I am forced to face the fact that the sun won't be making the plants grow tall anytime soon. So, I sit inside and listen to music that will depress me, either with the thoughts of hopeless love, or the thoughts of partying in summer time.

Something A Teenager Writes When Sleep Is Unattainable

Sink low into my bed. Pillow is propped up behind me.
Why can't I sleep? Why did momma have to wake me up? I knew I hadn't eaten. I didn't plan on eating. I didn't want to. I was tired and bored. What was so wrong with that? Then i go ahead and get up and spill pop all over the table and chair. i should have been in bed asleep! But no, everyone has to be rude and wake me up. Now I can't sleep anymore and I been laying her for two hours. it just makes me mad. And I been on edge for like weeks now! And all I want to do is cry. Can I have sex? Rough as hell sex? Sex that will make me cry, yell, scream? Sex that leaves bruises, hickeys, bites, and scratches that are more than skin deep? Sex that is on the floor, on the table, on the couch but feels like you traveled the world? Sex that just gets you going you don't even know what you're doing or how you knew to do it like that? Sex that puts you in a crazy state of numb ecstasy? Sex that leaves you sore in the morning? Sex that makes you want it again the next night? Sex that causes so much pain you love it? Sex that is pleasure, sex that is bliss, sex that is crazy, sex that is D. All the above and so much more? Yeah, I just asked a whole load of questions about impossible sex.
I want a guy to be a man and fucking kiss me. Who needs permission anymore? Hell a dude has his hands all over my ass, he did not ask em! why do guys act like they need permission to kiss a girl? If I let a guy grab my ass why do you think you need permission to kiss me? Dumb ass. But no, I am not going to just let you have it. Push me down, hold me down, grab my face, pin my against the wall, get AGGRESSIVE! Kiss me like you owe me a million. The first time you kiss me I won't kiss back. Second time I'm going to beg for it baby boy. Tell me how you want me to do it baby. Show me what you want me to do. Love it even if i do it wrong and teach me how to do it right. don't ever complain when you get it, or even if you never do, because you were even lucky to be talking to me.
I want to bite you.I want to tease you. I want you to bite me. I want you to tease me. I want to scratch you up, i want you to leave scars on my back and on my legs. Give me hickeys in secret places. When I'm naked I'm prepared for your judgement and ready to please. I don't make love, love can not be made, it doesn't exist on this earth. We make passion, let me melt into you and make me feel like I got hit by a fucking truck in the most amazing way possible.
Are you ticklish? I'm not. A guy can be the strongest man in the world but if he's ticklish you have just taken control. I love that power I gain when I'm with a guy that's ticklish. Abs should always be ticklish. I have tricks and guys love it. I can tell by watching a guys face when he is happy. What is it I do? Use nails. Ticklish guys, who have amazing abs is preferable for this trick. Start by tickling their sides and tummy then work you nails deeper into his skin and scratch him then slowly more your fingertips over his stomach. He will love it. I promise. If you don't know this trick you should. I think if I was ticklish and had abs it would turn me on too. But I love the feeling of nails grazing across my skin on my back and on my tummy. if you put your hands on my butt I'm going to love it, because I love my butt and you should too. If you like boobs, then you'll love my butt. Lemme turn around, smack it! Don't miss, make it hurt. I don't want to be able to stand, I don't want to be able to sit, I just want you to hold me and kiss me.
Do I want you to use a condom? Yes! You can go longer I think. You don't have to worry about pulling out and watch out for them STDs. Who have you been with? Hm... And you better not stop until I'm done. I got naked for you, remember I'm not easy, so do it for me and maybe you'll get something special.
Can't wait to have a car. Can't wait to have money. People will have to watch out. I'll be the problem angel. Girls step back because I'll fuck you up. Boys I know already, but seriously you need to back up, too. Can't get the other night out of my head. I really shouldn't get so hopeful. It's clear he's off the walls. Can't control him. But I don't think you could control me either if you tried.
Duct tape. Kinky. Keep quiet now, scream later. No, seriously.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have to buy sweatshirts. I wish I didn't have to wear my own. I like even borrowing from my friends. Stupid guys.
I struggle with society and principles. I struggle to make guidelines that satisfy both. I don't really know what I want. I have an idea but then I turn around and want something else, whether it's more, whether it's less. I don't know. Am I scared? Is it just adrenaline that runs it's course and make me crazy? Am I bipolar? Sometimes OCD? Don't know.
Going to try to sleep eventually, but I had to vent. Get this out on paper.

Adults:Older People

You think you're smarter because you are older. Age is nothing but a number. The fact that you're older only means you are more likely to be oblivious to how the younger people think and what they are going through.
You don't even sympathize. You keep your responses short. You only wait for something bad to be said. As soon as you catch word of something bad, you blow up. You start speaking words that leave the younger one lying on the floor. They are stuck there on the ground. They try to justify their actions, but you aren't hearing it at all. You don't care if they are happy. You just care about showing them they did wrong. The younger person if so caught off guard it is insane. They don't know what to do, or how to react. They just wanted to talk and have someone rejoice with them. They obviously didn't get what they wanted, because you are yelling and knocking them down.
You may be right but you may have just caused this person to stray away from you. They will find someone else to talk to. They will find someone else who will actually rejoice with them. The younger person will always wonder what happened to you. They'll wonder why you changed into the person who is worried about all the actions they choose. They'll wonder how you became all this when not to long ago you were just like them. You once wanted all this fun. You did things, exciting things, and you would leave and want to tell the world.
So why did you change? Did the older people knock you down?

Tasting Cake

Sorry but I still feel nothing. Nothing at all. There is definitely something missing here because shouldn't there be some kind of turn on switch that says "Oh yeah. I like this." I see nothing special. I don't feel anything. I just wasn't all that into it. I can't say I was wanting to dive in. Something about it turned me off. I wanted it,yes, but once I got it, I wasn't satisfied. Was it the smell? Was it the bloody taste?
Maybe I didn't allow feelings to come rushing in, though. Maybe I didn't allow myself to like it. It's possible I didn't like it because I didn't shut off my brain and just let myself go. My thoughts run through my head always saying no. I have to come up with a better reason as to why I say no. I really don't have a heart or a soul, if I did then I'd be able to let my heart and soul do all the work, but I don't so my brain is literally taking over. I could almost promise you I have a brain where my heart should be.

It is not easy to hide that sometimes I am dramatic. What do you think I was talking about? I actually dramatized a situation where my dad had bought a cake. It looked really good. It was decorated very nicely. It was even chocolate, which I love. I couldn't wait to get a bite. My piece was cut and put on my plate. I grabbed some ice cream too. I licked my lips at the sight of my treat. With my fork in hand I dug into the cake. I closed my eyes and wrapped my lips around the piece of cake, but I had to hold back from making a face. This cake was so atrocious! Since the rest of my family seemed to be enjoying it, I kept my mouth shut. I forced myself to eat the cake. I saved the ice cream for last so I would be sure to get the terrible taste out of my mouth.
As you see, it is not very hard to dramatize a situation to match other people's problems. Maybe there is something you have come face to face with that has dissatisfied you. Do you feel like your mind ever holds you back from something? Are you like me and have a brain where your heart should be?

Santa is a Bad Influence on Children

Santa is a bad influence on children. This is a fact. He is not real. While there are plenty of positive reasons to have kids believe, there are also negative affects.
One negative affect is that, well, you are lying to your kids. You are giving them false hope. You could potentially be scarring them for the rest of their life. They could end up never trusting you. Another reason is that you are basically teaching them that if they want something they can get it and it doesn't cost any money. Everything in life cost money, nothing comes free. Santa gives toys to kids who are good, but I can bet the there are plenty of kids in the world who are good but don't anything for Christmas because they can't afford it. This also causes kids to focus of material things rather than the actual meaning of Christmas and why it is celebrated. And Santa gives gifts to those who are simply and basically good, where to compared to God he gave us a gift but the gift can only be received if you except the gift, Jesus, as your savior.
The positive affects is that you allow your kids to dream and have an imagination. You have time to express to your kids the power of giving out of the goodness of your heart and wanting nothing in return. And Santa can bring a certain magic to Christmas. Businesses can also use Santa as a promoter, which I guess is good for business.

questioning your own words

i though i buried you!

and i seem to be talking in riddles,

On the edge,

Hanging on to the salt in the tears i want to cry.

i hold back,

Only scared.

trying to be true to the person i will become,

But i slip back to old ways.

its like i’m digging up graves that should have a steel coffin

That is a lovely poem I originally wrote in a text message to one of my friends. I liked it and edited it. I was introduced to all the possibilities of creative writing in poetry and thought I might try something different. So what I did was this: I didn't capitalize the i's. I didn't even capitalize after a period, instead I capitalized after commas. This is very different from what i normally do. I usually try to sound pretty formal, with correct grammar, but I think I made something powerful by not doing this.

Going back and looking at my work maybe there is another reason for why I wrote the way I did. Originally it was from a text so I really didn't use any capitalization, but I did use punctuation. This fact, I think, makes it real and maybe more interesting to read in modern days. I think I don't capitalize the i's because this poem is basically about growing up and trying to teach yourself a lesson. So being a "baby" i could mean you are still growing into the
"big" I.

I think on of the most powerful lines might be "i hold back," this is lowercase, but the line after starts with capital "Only scared," It even ends in a period. That I think makes the line powerful. You have the word "scared" which should show maybe a bit of weakness, but because "Only" is capitalized it makes scared seem strong, especially with the period on the end.

Note: I don't end in a period. I don't end with a comma. I don't end with anything but the word "coffin" It somewhat bothers me, but maybe that's the whole point I'm trying to make with this poem. I'm not sure if it a good thing, as a writer, to analyze and be confused with your own writing and question it.

Christmas Wishes

"What do you want for Christmas?"

Here's my answer:
I REALLY WANT...
A red and black Bugatti #vroom
A jet #whoosh
A yacht #splash
A house on the beach
A boyfriend that looks like a G.I. Joe! <3
A hot tub I can put in my room!
Tickets to every concert in 2012
To go to the New Year's Celebration in New York! #OMG
A stuffed bear as big as my bed
A life size cut out of Chris Brown and Justin Bieber
YES THAT'S REALLY WHAT I WANT!!!

No I'm just kidding. Though, I wouldn't doubt this is how some people's Christmas wish list looks, especially the life size cut out of Justin Beiber. Am I right? That's fine I guess. That just goes to show how much Christmas has turned into one big advertisement. It's just a way to make money. Like Black Friday. Like Thanksgiving. Like weddings. Especially weddings. All it is is paper and a hole burnt in your pocket.
Christmas, yes, it wouldn't be the same if it weren't for the present under that tree you decorated with the family. It wouldn't be the same without going out one night to look at the lights in your neighbor hood. It wouldn't be the same if you didn't spend time baking cookies to put out for Santa, don't forget the milk. But hold up, let me be the Grinch: I take all of that away. Now what? You're going to flip out, I already know, especially the ones who don't really celebrate Christ-mas.
I enjoy the presents, the lights, the cookies. I enjoy spending time with the family. I enjoy it all, but the reason for the season is God's only son, Jesus. I have wants for this Christmas and I will list them below but honestly I don't need them. All I need, the only present I truly need is Jesus. He saved me from hell, and this year I really feel like I need to emphasize that. I really want this Christmas to be done right.

You wonder what I want for Christmas:
Spider-man T-shirt
Spider-man Snapback hat
Candy (Twix, Skittles, Sour Gummy Worms, Dum-Dum Lollipops, etc.)
Lifesaver Spearmint Mints
Comfy, Soft Sweatpants
I like Dallas and USC Football
Cute Hoodie w/zipper&&without
New School Bag-needs to be more sturdy, mine is too floppy
Nicki Minaj Shirt
Ke$ha Shirt
Glitter
Nail Polish
Boots
Heels-need some black ones...and some gold and silver ones ;)
Makeup
And you know what I would really rock? Some of the heels that look like sneakers. Oh yes.

My Christ-mas Wish List:
I would really like to be shown some kind of light I never experienced on Christmas before.
And I think I asked for this last Christmas, it didn't happen. I am gonna wish for it again: I wish that the ones I love, who don't know Him, would come to except Him this year.
It probably won't happen, but I'll still be praying and wishing for it on Christmas night.

This is Real Life

One life can affect so many others. This is real life. Real life is a bitch. Please excuse my language. One life, just one. Think of their parents. If it don't affect them you know they have to have friends, maybe teachers. Everyone knows everyone some way or another. The world is a network, one large network. You know your friends, well they have friends, and their friends have freinds, and don't forget their families. Their families have family who have family. That family has friends and have co-workers, clients, associates, acquatances. It isn't even funny. It is so true. It just takes one. One decision made by one person to change the lives of not only them but everyone around them.

Little One

Little one cry
Watch the tears run away
Little one dream
Let your mind escape
Don't get caught up in yesterday
Little one cry
They called you stupid
Little one dream
I say close your eye lids
Wait to wake up to another day
Little one you don't know anything
Little one you're still growing up
Little one they will try to blame you
Little one say hello to the solo cup

Self-Centered vs. Conceited

Okay if you're conceited what does that mean? It means you love yourself. It means you want the best for yourself. When someone says you look good, you're reply is this: "I know." When people give you complements it only boosts your confidence, but that doesn't mean you have any. You may just act conceited because it helps you feel better about your insecurities. Or, you could just be really confident and being confident in yourself is never a bad thing.

If you are self-centered. You think the world revolves around you and you really could careless about other people. You are confident but also very ignorant. You don't care if there are people starving, if it comes down to it you will be the only one left breathing in the world. A response for people who are self-centered when someone says they look good is: "I know, maybe I'll make you look better." People shouldn't give you complements because you are on ego-overload.

You can be conceited without being self-centered, but if you are self-centered you are conceited. There is a difference between being conceited and self-centered. Now you know the difference.

Real Life Scenario: A Glue Sticky Situation

Do I always have to talk reality? Yes, I do.
Do I talk about my life? Yes, I do.
Do I make up situations based on obsevation? Yes, I do.

Here is the scenario: So your best friend and your boyfriend are walking up to you after class.

A smart girl, a girl who knows a thing or two, would do something like this:
She looks at her boyfriend.
She thinks "Ooh he is looking really good today. I'm so lucky to be with him."
She then turns to her best friend.
She says "What's up. I been wanting to talk to you all day."
She says hi to boyfriend.
She might even kiss him.
But she continues on with the conversation with her best friend.
She knows that her best friend will always be there for her, even when he breaks her heart.

A dumb girl, a girl who needs to learn a thing or two, would do something like this:
She looks at her boyfriend.
She thinks "Ooh he is lookng really good today. I'm so lucky to be with him."
She glances over at her best friend.
She runs to the boyfriend.
She kisses him and says, "Hi, baby, how was your day."
She turns to say hi to the friend.
She might give her a hug.
But she turns all the way around and continues the conversation with her boyfriend.
She thinks he'll always be there, but she won't have a best friend by her side anymore when he breaks her heart.

To the dumb girls:
Hi, I was your best friend. I thought we were stuck like glue. I guess it wasn't super glue, because you ripped and tore your way apart from me. Now all that's left to show is this red patch of irritated skin on my entire right side. I still remember how our hearts beat the same. I still remember all the sentences we said together. I still remember it all. But I'll soon forget all those good things, because you have made all those good things vanish. You tore from my side and now it seems a glue stick has stuck you to a boy you swear you are in love with. That glue won't stick long. I'm sorry that when I walk up to you to talk, and you're with him, I'm really just a light pole that happened to move itself between you two. You have turned your back on the only thing that was real. I'm sorry that, though I have always been there for you, I just wasn't good enough. Don't worry though, I will find new friends. Just know that when he rips away from you, I won't be there to put the torn little pieces back together. You will have to find a glue stick and do that all by yourself.