"Please Welcome Change to the Stage."

Changes.
I feel like I talk about change a lot, but it also happens a lot.
I think it is crazy how people will be so quick to dismiss you when they think you have changed. Well when I met you years ago, yes, you should expect someone to change. People can change their minds on topics, they can change their style, they can change their outlooks on life, they can change their views, they can change what they like and dislike. It just happens. It is a part of life.
Some people just can't take change I guess. Which is sad, because it leaves me wondering how they have made it as far as they have. How do they get by when things change? They run from it, don't they? Which is so sad. They are going to get major smacked when they get out in the world. When they get a job and that job has to transfer locations or change a policy they are going to freak out!
So tell me: are you ready for the change that is coming? Did you know change happens everyday? You don't know what will happen next. Are you going to be prepared when tomorrow brings change? They day will change, the hour will change, the sun's position in the sky will change. So, can you handle it?
When someone changes are you gonna run? What happened to "we'll be together through thick and thin"? Running away from change isn't going to make it better? You just have to take it as it comes. It makes you stronger. Change will always make you stronger.
Change can be negative, though, but it can also be positive. Sometimes it's both.
Change won't take a bow when you go to bed. It only takes a break to you consciousness until you wake up and it will be back to center stage, staring you in the face, laughing in the speakers, loud and clear.

Warning:Pregnancy

Honestly I have been freaking out since I have officially kissed a boy. About what? Pregnancy. Why? Because it seems like everything I have wrong with me could be a possible sign of pregnancy. I had a loss of appetite, then I had odd cravings and I couldn't eat normal food because it would make me sick, then I got a cold sore. Did you know cold sores could be a sign of pregnancy? I didn't. I guess because of hormones. What else? I don't know there were a few other things.
Obviously I'm not pregnant. My period is always random, but I have had it. And I haven't even done anything with a guy so why am I worried? Well, I guess I should just take it as a sign to be really careful. YOU BE CAREFUL TOO! A baby can be a blessing, but it can also make like very hard. Enless you are truly prepared for that resposibility, please be careful and take appropriate measures to avoid something you may regret.

What God Does?

What gifts has God given you? Are you tolerant of people like I am? I am too tolerant. I am smart, independent and careful, but absolutely terrible at second guessing myself. Mainly because I am trying to figure out which path God is pushing me to take. Though maybe he is trying to see which path I do choose on my own and they will punish, or reward me accordingly. I don't know. God is so out there, I really shouldn't spend so much time thinking about things that shouldn't matter. But they do matter because something I do today could set up or tear down a chance for me in heaven with my heavenly Father.
God blesses us daily multiple times. I don't even want to think of the things he did for me today, it'd be a huge list. And you can bet damn right I took everyone of those for granted, starting with just waking up this morning. It was such a nice day. Thank God, Amen.

Real Life Type Sh*t

So I have been talking to this guy so to say. I have gone so far with him, yet not all the way yet. For the past year I have been so proud to say "Oh I'm a MegaVirgin." I hadn't kissed a guy. I was a tease. I mean, I still am a tease, but maybe not so much with this one guy. I don't know why. I don't know if I actually like him. I don't want to regret this. I don't want him to take advantage. I don't want him to play games with me. I want to be so careful, but I also want to give him something more. I don't want him to stop talking to me.
I have mixed feelings so hard. I want to go back to not liking any guys. I want to go back to harmless flirty. I don't want to think about sex. I don't want to think of a kiss. I don't want to think of someone like this. It is so crazy. I have too much tolerance and I think I might be giving it to a person who don't deserve it.
But I want to like him so bad. I feel this kid needs some good caring feelngs. I feel I could try and be that person. But I hate feeling pressured to do things when I'm alone with him. Some of the things he says and does are sketchy. He is also not someone would particularly call a "good boy." He's def a bad boy. When ever someone hear's me talk about him they say, "He's funny." Well yeah. That's the definition of a bad boy. Hm.. I mean again with my tolerance, I don't agree with what he does, but I have heard his reason and I guess I just understand his logic. Of course I think he is wrong, but I'm not going to be rude about it. Tolerance and care. That's how I am. I honestly think I'm one of the best people in the word because of some of the gifts God has given me to deal with people. I may not be very social and slightly awkward, but I think I do truly enjoy people just they way they are.
There is this other guy though and he stay trying to hit me up. I do respond, but I don't know why. I really don't want to talk to him, but he is friends with the other guy. And he keeps saying stuff like, "Dang if he wasn't my dude." "Really wish I could tell you shit." "Wish you'd give me a chance. You're looking in the wrong place." I don't know if he is really trynna warn me because he knows some bullshit or if he is just jealous.
But everytime he hits me up, he just annoys me. I don't want to talk to him. I want him to go away. I feel like it's just wrong there. He seems like a real nice guy and all, but I don't think I can like him like that.
Maybe it's because he's white. Yes you are allowed to laugh, because, yes, I am white. I don't know what it is, but I have not liked a white guy since the first guy I dated. Since then my other ex's were black and then I have tried talking to other white guys, but I don't know. I just don't see them as more than a friend usually.
But back to the issue at hand, I can't make up my mind. It's so crazy with this guy. I don't know how to deal. I had talked to him before in the past, but now it seems a little different, but maybe it's not and I'm just fooling myself. But I think God really has put him back here with me, but I'm not sure why. Or maybe I'm crazy. And I am clearly terrible at second guessing myself.

S.E.X. A Boy's Secret

Guys only want one thing. Don't deny it because it's true. They only want SEX. But I'd like to ask why? Why do they want sex so bad? The answer is because they want it. Not sex. They want love.
Boys will be boys. They find love in sports, cars, drinking, and smoking. But those things don't love back. So then they finally get sick of it. They turn to what they know they should want. A girl, a lady, a woman, but then he unconciously realizes he doesn't know how to love her. He's never had to love anything real with its own feelings. So what does he come with? Sex. That's the way he loves, or so he thought that is the way he would love her. He thought that was the way he would love something with feelings, but because he has never loved anything with feeling before he is used to loving the thing that can't love back, which is sex. Which means basically means he is no longer in love with the girl, he's in love with sex. That is why a guy only wants that one thing.